Friday, September 22, 2006

Rahh!!! so so so angry today... was realli focusing hard, trying my best to complete the mock exam paper n asking teacher for help.... i realli realli want to pass my maths, no more failure in this subject le... so upset... discovered that this teacher actually betrayed my trust one last time... made everything i wished for go back to square one... i was furious n devastated that she told me a lie once again.. facing the consequences of her betrayal was crushing n depressing... seemed like the word "respect" was since then out of my world...thought back how foolish i was to trust her again that time.. now i'm twice bitten thrice shy, i will never trust her again.. it jus like a time torturing process to go cca twice every week for total of 8 hrs...

so... i didn't complete the paper... got 33/60 means i dun have to sit for retest next wk.. but disappointed. was made the victim of their accusation, couldn't do anything.. couldn't even defend or explain myself for being angry... i told myself, enough is enough... i won't want to stay here jus feeling so so hurt deep inside almost every wk..
i dun wan to smile at them when i'm upset... i am a human too, God created ALL of us with emotions... if they aren't happy jus becuz i show them a long black face.. SO BE IT!

i admit that i was wrong sharing with one of my juniour how i felt towards what i did... but my conscience is clear.. i did not say or speak anything unkind or ugly about them... if i had waited... i believe that " if God is for us, who can be against us.." God i repent. show me the way.. i'll folow wherever You may lead me...

what we could have been, 7:20 PM.