Wednesday, January 31, 2007
after a hard day's work...
all i felt is... incompetence..
looking at everything that's going on now, i feel so useless, a sham of a follower. i've done my best to do wad i could, squeeze out all my time to balance among studies, ministries, family n friends but it seemed that nothing succeeded.
i wish i could but it proved that i'm not.
think i haven been a good shepherd.. y did You entrusted me wif all those? Lord, do You realli think i can do it? seeing them leaving one by one jus stabs my heart right thru'.. getting to know wad happened to my sheeps, hurt me even more when i know i could not do anything to help.
i lift my hands in surrender.. i know only You can make a way...
trust in You n not myself...
all i felt is... incompetence..
looking at everything that's going on now, i feel so useless, a sham of a follower. i've done my best to do wad i could, squeeze out all my time to balance among studies, ministries, family n friends but it seemed that nothing succeeded.
i wish i could but it proved that i'm not.
think i haven been a good shepherd.. y did You entrusted me wif all those? Lord, do You realli think i can do it? seeing them leaving one by one jus stabs my heart right thru'.. getting to know wad happened to my sheeps, hurt me even more when i know i could not do anything to help.
i lift my hands in surrender.. i know only You can make a way...
trust in You n not myself...
what we could have been, 10:17 PM.
Monday, January 29, 2007
big big sigh..
y am i so bothered by it? is it a trigger point of growth? felt that this lil' brain of mine is far too complex than i could ever imagine. i rather be an vegetable.. would be less hurtful for my brain? hahas. *sayang brain*
going to fast till i get it deep inside.
who am i...
y am i so bothered by it? is it a trigger point of growth? felt that this lil' brain of mine is far too complex than i could ever imagine. i rather be an vegetable.. would be less hurtful for my brain? hahas. *sayang brain*
going to fast till i get it deep inside.
who am i...
what we could have been, 10:48 PM.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
lost.
discontentment... is it a holy one? or a self-destructing bomb? wad's coming from this heat-oppressed brain of mine? i dun like it at all, not the least bit.
i wish i could slow down or even stop time.. but that will never happen, i know God has a reason.
i dun wan to be left behind the race.. no never.
pls get rid of the super glue beneath my shoes, i wan to run again...
i will be still and know You are God...
discontentment... is it a holy one? or a self-destructing bomb? wad's coming from this heat-oppressed brain of mine? i dun like it at all, not the least bit.
i wish i could slow down or even stop time.. but that will never happen, i know God has a reason.
i dun wan to be left behind the race.. no never.
pls get rid of the super glue beneath my shoes, i wan to run again...
i will be still and know You are God...
what we could have been, 9:50 PM.
Friday, January 26, 2007
awakened.
dunno y the sudden feeling or rather urge defeat my fears facedown once n for all. my spiritual senses are heightened and even more alert than before. jus merely a few hours of sleep yet i woke up wif a revelation. how miraculous?
i'm glad it is this way. (:
physically drained but spiritually recharged!
Hear these praises from a grateful heart
Each time I think of You The praises start
Love You so much, Jesus Love You so much
Lord, I love You, my soul sings
In Your presence Carried on Your wings
Love You so much, Jesus Love You so much
Chorus:
How my soul longs for you
Longs to worship You forever
In Your power and majesty
Lift my hands, lift my heart
Lift my voice towards the heavens
For You are my sun and shield
© 1996 Russell Fragar/Hillsongs Australia
overcomer thru' Christ! (:
dunno y the sudden feeling or rather urge defeat my fears facedown once n for all. my spiritual senses are heightened and even more alert than before. jus merely a few hours of sleep yet i woke up wif a revelation. how miraculous?
i'm glad it is this way. (:
physically drained but spiritually recharged!
Hear these praises from a grateful heart
Each time I think of You The praises start
Love You so much, Jesus Love You so much
Lord, I love You, my soul sings
In Your presence Carried on Your wings
Love You so much, Jesus Love You so much
Chorus:
How my soul longs for you
Longs to worship You forever
In Your power and majesty
Lift my hands, lift my heart
Lift my voice towards the heavens
For You are my sun and shield
© 1996 Russell Fragar/Hillsongs Australia
overcomer thru' Christ! (:
what we could have been, 11:47 PM.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
hmm..
20 mins to my 16th birthday! whee~ n i'm definately...older! -.-'' hahas.
woooo. sweet sixteen means...
1. able to watch NC16 films.
2.marching closer to O levels.
3.i've lived on earth for 16 yrs!!! (crap) lols.
4. a fruitful year ahead! (:
anyhow, prayed for my 3 bdae wishes to be fulfilled in Jesus' name, Amen! i believe there's more areas to grow in and i wun wan to miss the chance of growing! breakthru's breakthru's breakthru's!!! it shall be done. :D
anticipating for what's to come. Lord prepare me...
20 mins to my 16th birthday! whee~ n i'm definately...older! -.-'' hahas.
woooo. sweet sixteen means...
1. able to watch NC16 films.
2.marching closer to O levels.
3.i've lived on earth for 16 yrs!!! (crap) lols.
4. a fruitful year ahead! (:
anyhow, prayed for my 3 bdae wishes to be fulfilled in Jesus' name, Amen! i believe there's more areas to grow in and i wun wan to miss the chance of growing! breakthru's breakthru's breakthru's!!! it shall be done. :D
anticipating for what's to come. Lord prepare me...
what we could have been, 11:41 PM.
Monday, January 22, 2007
relationship.
wad does true friendship means? ish there realli no such thingy called true friendships?
thought deep about tis topic todae... food for thought. as humans, we're all carnal. we long to fill that God-shaped hole in us. ppl who yet to know God, tries filling the void with achievements, being materialistic, bgr and even friendships. but now thru' salvation, Christ has filled up the void with Himself n we're made complete!
it's impt to know our identity in Christ so as not to be swayed n influenced by the world. indeed, every single man on earth needs a friend n God knows that need in us n met it wif friends placed in our lives.
how do u define a friend? tis is one thing i have yet to understand ,the strengths of friendships n it's vulnerabilities. are friends meant to be made n lost along the way? are there realli no such person called a "true friend"?
i'm glad i'm in this circle of friends... the family of God. though at times, humans are seemingly selfish n ignorant, i know that there's alwaes God who holds our relationship with one another together n tis fact will never change.
it is in the family of God where i know i dun have to hide the real me in..
i'm a Child Of God, no i won't deny it! (:
wad does true friendship means? ish there realli no such thingy called true friendships?
thought deep about tis topic todae... food for thought. as humans, we're all carnal. we long to fill that God-shaped hole in us. ppl who yet to know God, tries filling the void with achievements, being materialistic, bgr and even friendships. but now thru' salvation, Christ has filled up the void with Himself n we're made complete!
it's impt to know our identity in Christ so as not to be swayed n influenced by the world. indeed, every single man on earth needs a friend n God knows that need in us n met it wif friends placed in our lives.
how do u define a friend? tis is one thing i have yet to understand ,the strengths of friendships n it's vulnerabilities. are friends meant to be made n lost along the way? are there realli no such person called a "true friend"?
i'm glad i'm in this circle of friends... the family of God. though at times, humans are seemingly selfish n ignorant, i know that there's alwaes God who holds our relationship with one another together n tis fact will never change.
it is in the family of God where i know i dun have to hide the real me in..
i'm a Child Of God, no i won't deny it! (:
what we could have been, 10:27 PM.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
what a wonderful day. (:
tried on some matching of 'un-matchable' clothings n pq and pey chyi actualli said that it's nice.. guess i'm a mismatch "dumbo". LOLS. come to me for fashion consultancy.. charges are affordable for all.. hahas, jk.
worship was fan-tabulous. especially it was one of the two songs that kept ringing in my head this past week.. man, did this past week made me breatheless but nevertheless, thank God for Saturday! :D
well, God reminded me of my promise to Him which somehow... i still struggle to keep it well... upon hearing the adversities of Stephanie (in the testimony Ps. Ben shared..) and how God turned it around into a blessing, i'm realli grateful that God is alwaes faithful n true to His children.. i shall turn from being independent to God dependent! (:
somehow, first time celebrated my bdae in Hope. ( advanced though) hahas, but was realli touched by the cards some of them wrote to me... i didn't noe i realli did play a part in their lives n spiritual growth until todae.. anyhow, we went to the Dhoby Ghaut arcade after the celebration at Cuppage Basement 2. super funny!!! we tried dancing the para para thingy. 1st time in my life dancing in public. -.-'' and obviously, i danced like some retardo sotong. wahaha. =x but fun though. Caijuan was the pro-iest.. she jus did all the screaming while Melissa n Siqin waved her arms around. rofl. and talking about the best, i guess it had to be Siqin! she looked realli like an amateur while doing her thing on that machine. cool. (:
realli learing to appreciate n share life with East E much much more.. love this family i'm placed in by God's grace. looking forward to next sat already. whee~
hold me now n never ever let me go...
tried on some matching of 'un-matchable' clothings n pq and pey chyi actualli said that it's nice.. guess i'm a mismatch "dumbo". LOLS. come to me for fashion consultancy.. charges are affordable for all.. hahas, jk.
worship was fan-tabulous. especially it was one of the two songs that kept ringing in my head this past week.. man, did this past week made me breatheless but nevertheless, thank God for Saturday! :D
well, God reminded me of my promise to Him which somehow... i still struggle to keep it well... upon hearing the adversities of Stephanie (in the testimony Ps. Ben shared..) and how God turned it around into a blessing, i'm realli grateful that God is alwaes faithful n true to His children.. i shall turn from being independent to God dependent! (:
somehow, first time celebrated my bdae in Hope. ( advanced though) hahas, but was realli touched by the cards some of them wrote to me... i didn't noe i realli did play a part in their lives n spiritual growth until todae.. anyhow, we went to the Dhoby Ghaut arcade after the celebration at Cuppage Basement 2. super funny!!! we tried dancing the para para thingy. 1st time in my life dancing in public. -.-'' and obviously, i danced like some retardo sotong. wahaha. =x but fun though. Caijuan was the pro-iest.. she jus did all the screaming while Melissa n Siqin waved her arms around. rofl. and talking about the best, i guess it had to be Siqin! she looked realli like an amateur while doing her thing on that machine. cool. (:
realli learing to appreciate n share life with East E much much more.. love this family i'm placed in by God's grace. looking forward to next sat already. whee~
hold me now n never ever let me go...
what we could have been, 11:25 PM.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
love.
as simple as that one word can turn a person's life 360 degree around. it's the real meaning behind it that realli matters...
perfect love cast out all fears... n i believe there's more for me to listen out for God of. felt realli discouraged of the things which i seem to can't get over wif, the same feeling all over again.. rahh!!! tis mustn't go on further, i want to have a breakthru'! something realli evident that i have grown.. not bcuz i want to gain attention or smth but bcuz i know that God can make things happen especially in me!
sat alone at food palace today, many thoughts went thru' my mind.. sort of evaluated my life n found the main root of the issue.
gonna set an official day for my Sabbath day in a week. jus God n i... no intruders pls! hahas. =x at the end of the day, it's my relationship wif Him that's impt. i will stand out n be different bcuz He had showed me how..
getting to know You more a lil' every day, thus, falling deeper in love with You every second that i breathe...
as simple as that one word can turn a person's life 360 degree around. it's the real meaning behind it that realli matters...
perfect love cast out all fears... n i believe there's more for me to listen out for God of. felt realli discouraged of the things which i seem to can't get over wif, the same feeling all over again.. rahh!!! tis mustn't go on further, i want to have a breakthru'! something realli evident that i have grown.. not bcuz i want to gain attention or smth but bcuz i know that God can make things happen especially in me!
sat alone at food palace today, many thoughts went thru' my mind.. sort of evaluated my life n found the main root of the issue.
gonna set an official day for my Sabbath day in a week. jus God n i... no intruders pls! hahas. =x at the end of the day, it's my relationship wif Him that's impt. i will stand out n be different bcuz He had showed me how..
getting to know You more a lil' every day, thus, falling deeper in love with You every second that i breathe...
what we could have been, 10:14 PM.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
found out that actualli words n actions do make wonders.
jus a simple action done out of love n a word said out of deepest thought can turn a gloomy day downside up. (:
realli wanna thank God for Cheng, simply for her constant prayers n.. for believing in me. jus as that i was greatly moved. so glad upon receiving an advanced bdae card from Pastor Shirley, din noe she actualli remembered me. though the greetings n content of the card was short n sweet, i appreciate her for the thought alot.
i dun wan to be jus a receiver of blessings.. i want to transform it as a blessing to others by doing the same.
jus "celebrated" my 3rd year spiritual bdae on the 14th of Jan.. strongly believe that one of the things that made me stayed in Hope is the people that God placed in my life, the family of God, and their genuine love. with the perfect love of God n the warmth of the family of God, noone can ever deny that God is real.
that's my conviction. i shall do my best to make my new believers to feel the same way too! no more compromising of the standard of God, we shall all grow together from glory to greater glory! :)
i'm forever Yours~
jus a simple action done out of love n a word said out of deepest thought can turn a gloomy day downside up. (:
realli wanna thank God for Cheng, simply for her constant prayers n.. for believing in me. jus as that i was greatly moved. so glad upon receiving an advanced bdae card from Pastor Shirley, din noe she actualli remembered me. though the greetings n content of the card was short n sweet, i appreciate her for the thought alot.
i dun wan to be jus a receiver of blessings.. i want to transform it as a blessing to others by doing the same.
jus "celebrated" my 3rd year spiritual bdae on the 14th of Jan.. strongly believe that one of the things that made me stayed in Hope is the people that God placed in my life, the family of God, and their genuine love. with the perfect love of God n the warmth of the family of God, noone can ever deny that God is real.
that's my conviction. i shall do my best to make my new believers to feel the same way too! no more compromising of the standard of God, we shall all grow together from glory to greater glory! :)
i'm forever Yours~
what we could have been, 10:22 PM.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
tml will be better!
whee~ (:
whee~ (:
what we could have been, 10:08 PM.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
wahhh...
it's been way long since i've last blogged. busy, busy, busy. =\
got all my new year resolutions set fresh and acting on them. think i'm ready for a blast wif God tis year!!!.. or... am i? =x
all the stuff n pressure seem to draw me away from my main focus. this shouldn't be it!!! but y?? argh... i hate that feeling. =(
felt quite defeated at times wif all mountains (n seriously mountains!) of things which i've failed to grasp in sec 3 n more topics adding on... Os seems so impossible.
the vision from God n the figures He showed jus has yet to capture my heart.. it's not bcuz the vision n figures weren't clear enough or anything but..
i know i've to do smth about it.
i don't doubt for no reasons but the reasons may be jus wrong. haiz. glad i know that...
when i'm weak, God is strong! (:
i jus want to live to put a smile on Your face...
it's been way long since i've last blogged. busy, busy, busy. =\
got all my new year resolutions set fresh and acting on them. think i'm ready for a blast wif God tis year!!!.. or... am i? =x
all the stuff n pressure seem to draw me away from my main focus. this shouldn't be it!!! but y?? argh... i hate that feeling. =(
felt quite defeated at times wif all mountains (n seriously mountains!) of things which i've failed to grasp in sec 3 n more topics adding on... Os seems so impossible.
the vision from God n the figures He showed jus has yet to capture my heart.. it's not bcuz the vision n figures weren't clear enough or anything but..
i know i've to do smth about it.
i don't doubt for no reasons but the reasons may be jus wrong. haiz. glad i know that...
when i'm weak, God is strong! (:
i jus want to live to put a smile on Your face...
what we could have been, 2:38 PM.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
tml.
dressed up in the full armour of God.
Lord, prepare me to break down those walls!
Faith! :)
here i come in the name of the Lord!
dressed up in the full armour of God.
Lord, prepare me to break down those walls!
Faith! :)
here i come in the name of the Lord!
what we could have been, 12:02 AM.
