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Sunday, September 30, 2007

sit down, think deep.
evaluation.


i guess some things are to be excavated and re-evaluate on again.


learning is one thing but re-learning is another.
going back to the fundamentals.

what is my motivation behind serving God?
what made me stayed on in the Family of God?
why do i want to rise up as a leader?
am i living my life as how God wants it to be?

i want to give myself the benefit of doubt to grow by thinking thru' deeply before i give any answer jus by the 'head knowledge'.

it's ain't all about the numbers, the attendance, the regular 'meet-ups', knowledge about the bible,the amount of time set aside to serve God.. it's about character.
being willing to find shortcomings and improving on them, being willing to humble self to change blindspots in our lives into strengths. and definitely, one's walk with God has to be consistant. how much more have we got closer to God each day?

look into God's lenses, mine is too narrow and pessimistic.
i am for sure not what others' perspective created me for, much more..
i am a child of God.

God, if it's Your will and by Your favour, it shall be done.
thank You for letting me see..

when i am weak, Thou art is strong. ((:

what we could have been, 12:33 AM.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007

41 days to end of O lvls!

counting down, counting down and counting down.


woo, prelim results are out.
expected those kind of results, i literally gave up during prelims. =\
but pls don't ever do that! >.<

saw a bit of improvement in my Amaths, P.Lit, Chinese and SBQs. yay!
but oh well, looooooooooooong way to go!
L1R5 of 7. it shall be a miracle. lol :D (that's a faithfilled laughter kay?) =P

true enough.
when you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
and i really think the monthly study planner and study tips notes are really effective and super applicable. yes, i want to be more discipline in my management of time!
because, when you're discipline in your time management, you'll be discipline in all other areas of ur life! ((:

hmm..
lot's on my mind rite now.
jus puked yesterday nite and feeling dizzy rite now.
ahhh, i don't want to be sick!!! =\

listening-- As you go to sleep tonight.

what we could have been, 11:54 PM.
Monday, September 24, 2007

brain saturated or rather dead.
lol, not another word or number can get into my brain right now.


todae is one whole day of practical which made me feel rather discouraged.
i wasn't really confident about chem practical, kept asking around. and man! why do we have to go thru' that stinking test of aqueous ammonia?! hahas. nose rather sensitive to that smell eversince the previous practical. -.- lol.

maybe,
i might or might not publically tell people about my blog bah. it's jus that the way i express myself i guess. =x i'm not emo kay! HAHA. maybe jus a lil' sentimental or romantic? hurhur =.- anyhow, here's a lil' treat. a song sung by Jennifer Love Hewitts in the movie, 'If Only'..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWnow6AzIx8


one power voice. yay! :D

off, results for prelims tml. =\

what we could have been, 10:53 PM.
Sunday, September 23, 2007

aye,
i jus couldn't wait any longer.
i have to blog the many things clogging my brain right now.


The kind of leader God chooses.

right, self-leadership is very essential.
i am sure it was a great and perfect time to evaluate myself, my spiritual growth.

jus a wink of the eye and that's how short our lives are here on Earth.
was woken up to reality, the reason why i'm here for.
i guess it's really not all about the Os or whatsoever but most importantly, value-ing what God values.. souls.

i've asked myself, many times, why?
why do i want to rise up as a leader? why i want to teach my sheeps well? why i want to serve the KOG to my fullest? i really don't care if people question my doings or desires but no! , i'm not after status quo nor receiving recognitions. i simply want to see myself doing something for God. because.. i see His purpose for me, because i see His glory which far surpasses my understanding of Him. He is worthy.

maybe i am not someone who expresses my feelings freely, but i do what i do because i really do love God and so do i love my sheeps. simply beyond the limitation of words, they matter to God so do they matter to me. growth is not jus about a change in behaviour/ character but more, the depth of our relationship with God.

sometimes, i look back at myself, the stubborness in me.
i can't help but shake my head from side to side, childish!
yet, so many times of falling down again and again, God has never gave up on me.
i guess too many a time i focused too much on pleasing the Creator than the Creator Himself. too much on hitting goals, too much on growth of sheeps, too much on serving and rarely on Him.

sigh.
what an irony!
as a matter of fact, maybe only God can understand all these babbling in this post.
however, they are heart-felt babbling. =\

my answer to Pastor Jeff's question?
God is undeniably real and thus, i want to give my 100% in everything i do for Him.

Lord, keep me up and burning bright as i choose to follow You..

what we could have been, 10:21 PM.
Thursday, September 20, 2007


EC had cg at Temasek poly todae. (:
well, jus thought that this was rather funny.


though we were chased out of the room due to some examinations held near the room, God still blessed us with a nice place to worship. open air, close to nature (not to mention cockroach!) hahas. but i realli love the breeze, the sun and the serenity of the place. worship was great, better than what i expected. God spoked and confirms His word to us, Trust. (:







let's do the moon-walk the snardy way! >.<


wahaha, she's so gonna kill me if she sees this! =x


1st pic i've ever upload that was taken with her. (:
as i took this pictures a few days ago, something jus realli struck me.
i realli pray that one day she would come and serve the Lord together with me.
there's jus a burden tugging at my heart, my relationship with her needs a breakthrough.
i know i need to love her more, love her like how God loves me.
when humility to love is gone, all else falters and fades away.
i don't want to see that day approaching, never!
Lord, help me to love like You've loved..
it shall never be the same. :D
-deep thoughts.

what we could have been, 11:17 PM.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007

presenting... Shushan the camera-shy one. :P



Sylvia sotong the cheeky one. >.<


Shuhfen the loudest and craziest one. :D



and my sheep, sirui, the violent one. =x

nono, annointing didn't flow from me. >.<> then i bumped into Shushan and sotong. so they joined us to mug at TM's mac. afterwhich, we saw Benjamin Hum and his friends and sirui quickly called shuhfen to tell her about her fav Ben. so as usual, shuhfen screamed. lol. and she literally rushed down to mac from home jus to catch a glimpse of Ben Hum. =P



wellwell, a self-portrait of 'GockTing'? =x (ps, dun kill me if u happen to see this... it's SHUSHAN'S WORKSHEET!) =p LOL.


to conclude, not realli much was done but realli enjoyed one another's company. (: did many crazy stuff at Toys r' us and Life bookshop. =P

fever,fever.

off to rest now! ((:


what we could have been, 11:23 PM.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007



thanks sheepy Sirui for the lovely marshmellows-coated-with-chocolate thingy.
it's realli sweet of you! ^^
argh, i'm falling sick.
my nose jus can't stop running/ sprinting. lol.
the terrible feeling of being unable to breathe properly, on and off nauseousness and loss of appetide. God heal me!!! =\
anyhow, think my sheep is feeling worse being down with stomach flu. =\
God heal her too!!! (:
jus a random post to show that sheep aka frog that i reeeeeaaalli appreciate her small gestures of love for her gorgeous shepherd. HAHA. =x
now,
back to mugging! ((:








what we could have been, 10:58 PM.

recap!
14th Sept - 'Refreshing Day'



ahbe, Jingjing, Sirui, Linghui, Shuhfen, Jocelyn and myself went over to Yanyu's house for a spiritual retreat day, 'Rereshing Day'. hahas, sounds funny. =x


though the worship atmosphere wasn't very good due to certain things.. ehh, something that i discern of. shall teach my sheeps about worship and prayer more in depth. (: however, i believe God spoke to each and every one of us in that room when we interceeded for each other. intercession is powerful when God moves and it indeed comes with a step of faith! not only will God use you to encourage others but you yourself will increase in your level of faith as well. :D i think the other thing that was quite good was the affirmation time. For he/she who refreshes others, he/she will be refreshed. i pray that we will all encourage ourselves in the Lord and continue to carry the cross because He is worthy..




15th Sept- Hope Church Singapore's 16th Anniversary!

let the pictures do the talking, yo!


this is Dennis' so called "normal" pose. >.<


and... the so called ' abnormal' pose. LOL.

EC3- the seductive pose, or rather, sexy! =P well, i'm far too innocent i guess. HAHA.
well, i noticed that Clone did the same pose as me! hahas! ^^


16 years of building up the church and seeing how God moved in many of our lives, really taught me how to give thanks once again. (: it's like growing up together with the church, 16 years i've lived on this Earth. how much have i grown? i know i'm not on Earth to take in as much oxygen as i can but to make an impact, leaving a legacy of Christ behind. what can i do but thank You, what can i do but give my life to You. :D

anyhow, was locked out that night after anniversary. really thank God for Jade and Cher for being great hostess and for their warm hospitality that makes me feel fuzzy inside. cheerios! ^^

and also... Happy Birthday dearest brother! :D


17th Sept- J.U.M.P concert at Touch Theatre.

was really blown away by the praise and worship atmosphere there.
but most of all, it wasn't about the voices nor the quality of the music, it was the soul that hungers for God's presence that is key in every worship. :D though i know i had practical the next day, i believe that God'll provide me with His strength when i earnestly seek Him. so i went and thank God i wasn't locked out again! yayness! ^^

hmm,
off to mug, tml's my last paper!!!


only for prelims. -.-


God, You'll carry me thru'..

what we could have been, 1:50 PM.
Sunday, September 16, 2007

something that really stuck me,
the lyrics..

faith + prayer + 100% effort = God moving His hands. (:

Break Free by Hillsong.

Verse 1
Would you believe me, would you listen if I told you that
There is a love that makes the way, it never holds you back

Verse 2
Who would have thought that God would give his one and only Son
Taken a stand upon the cross to show his perfect love

Pre-chorus
So would you break free, would you break free get up and dance, in His love

Chorus
His love never ends, yeah.
There's no escaping the truth, there's no mistaking its you
God forever we'll get up and dance, get up and dance and praise you
There's no escaping your love, there's no mistaking your light
Across the world we will get up and dance, get up and dance and praise you

Verse 3
Now is the time to take this freedom that has come our way
Offer our lives to see the glory of His name

Bridge
Never ? all our days
We are holy Lord, holding onto all your ways
We are holding on, holding on to all you've said and you've done
We are holding on to your love
Now we will dance

loved,
Carys.

what we could have been, 11:25 PM.
Thursday, September 13, 2007





i know you'll never let go of my hands.
thank you.. (:

what we could have been, 12:39 AM.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007

in the midst of prelims,

i might not have time for a lot of stuff but i'll never compromise the standard of the KOG. (:



war.

must always remind myself about studying with God.

faith must not waver! no matter how impossible it may seem to others and even myself, i want to devote the best of my energy and trust in God and mug hard as i believe that God will bring me thru'. :D



went to NSC for my doctor's appointment today.

hahas, God is training me to be more patient. waited alone to see the doctor and stuff which took away 4 hours of my precious time. tml is chem paper, God help me! tried to kill my time waiting for my queue number as the buzzer goes off one number by one number. it was super duper looooooooong. anyhow, the doctor is quite shuai =x, but... not my cup of tea! nono, i'm not that despo! >.<>


Serene came to teach me about writing ionic equation at 1012pm jus now. realli thank God for her! ^^ anyhow, i should be going now! (:



love ya Serene Soon Yu Mei! ((:


what we could have been, 12:39 AM.
Monday, September 10, 2007






1. big smile! :D 2. feeling blue? 3. "Psst! new dude next door?" 4. shh.. 5. "Am i cool or simply hot?" 6. My God is so big so strong and so mighty, there's nothing my God cannot do!~ 7. Peek-a-boo! 8. hear no evil! >.<




heehee.
so adorable rite? >.<
realli love kids a lot!

they are more than just a cute figure, they are God's amazing creation! ((:


makes me look back to the time when i was still a new believer, that was when i was still primary five!

new in my faith yet ever so excited to know more of God, always craving for spiritual milk and dreaming of growing up soon. that child-like faith and innocence are elements which still greatly amazes me till now. (:

now that i've grown a little, looking back makes me ponder if i'm still as hungry for my spiritual food? still as excited if not even more excited to know God more each day? and now that i've known a lil' bit more, is that element of child-like faith and innocence still in me? hahas.

no matter what i've been through in my walk with Him, i've noticed traces of His footprints in every situation in my life. be it joy, fear, doubt, tears or excitement, He has never ever let go of my hands before.


i know it may be tough but i want to live my life fully for You,
loving You..
child of Yours forever. (:



what we could have been, 11:25 PM.

today was quite horrendous.
sigh, that feeling when thing don't realli go your way.
i know i have not wasted my time after the much hassle going to rc and stuff, revision was pretty fruitful! (:

so so so so so so so so so so so many things to accomplish within a short period of time, God i really need You.

"..break my heart for what breaks Yours, everything i am for Your kingdom's cause."

noone knows better than You do,
be with me in this time of prelims.

amen. :D

what we could have been, 12:05 AM.
Saturday, September 08, 2007

realli beginning to feel the stress and fatigue-ness.
and that's also when the test of dependence on God and time management steps in..



i know full well that i don't have much time left to realli study, however, i jus want to give my best by studying with and for God. was a pretty good dream for me, woke up refreshed. ((: God spoke to me thru' Chenglee in my dreams and it was super vivid and fresh in my mind. ^^

a
n
d...

what we could have been, 11:35 PM.
Thursday, September 06, 2007

Metamorphosis
:any complete change in appearance, character, circumstances, etc.

one word from heaven can change lives. (:


went to mug with the sec 4s/5s at centrepoint's Marks and Spencer.
initially almost forgot where is it at, Holy Spirit led me there. hahas.
to cut the grandma story short, i didn't realli study. *mind floats away*
anyhow,want to thank Daixuan and Qinning for teaching me! hohos. >.<

then, went for Metamorphosis.
went there with not much of an expectancy to receive much from God.
however, God greatly assured me of my situation, the turmoil in my heart.
the presence of God was just so strong, i know i met God and i got to know Him in a deeper level. our relationship with God should be constantly growing, and i'm sure that i know Him much more than what i heard of Him 3 years and 8 months ago.

i want to be a true worshipper of Yours.
one that does not only worship You with my mouth, but with my whole life.
worship is not about 'feeling' God but pleasing God in whatever we do.

thru' His word of assurance,
i'm set free from my negative thoughts and feelings for the past half a year.
it jus feels so great. :D
i believe with all my heart that God looks within me for who i am and not what i am not.

thank You for Your love for me.

what we could have been, 10:44 AM.
Sunday, September 02, 2007

well, i don't feel like putting up the tagboard anymore.
can get rather annoying when comments come at the wrong time, i suppose. =\


things not quite settled and stuff,
up and down on a emotional roller coaster.
thanks a lot Sharlene, you made me feel loved by your sincerity in squeezing out time to help me. love ya lots! :D

i think we should all learn to balance being task-oriented and people-oriented at the same time. God wants us to excel in all areas. (:

i will always remember to run back to the focus, my source of strength and life.
i've not forgotten. CG08; 15 in Springfield and >8 in St.Hilda's! stretch me and give me more of Your wisdom and direction Lord, i want to do this for You.



i want to know You more each day.


Saviour King by Hillsong United
Verse 1
And now the weak say I have strength
By the spirit of power that raised Christ from the dead
And now the poor stand and confess
That my portion is ? and I'm more blessed

Pre-chorus
Let now our hearts burn with a flame
A fire consuming all for your Son's holy name
And with the heavens we declare
You are our king

Chorus
We love you Lord, we worship you
You are our God, you alone are good
You asked your Son to carry this
The heavy cross our weight of sin
I love you Lord, I worship you
Hope which was lost, now stands renewed
I give my life to honor this
The love of Christ, the savior king

Verse 2
Let now your church shine as the bride
That you soar in your heart as you offered up your life
Let now the lost be welcomed home
By the saved and redeemed those adopted as your own

Ending
I give my life to honor this
The love of Christ, the savior king


Lord, you see my heart. (:

what we could have been, 10:17 PM.

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Carys Magdalene
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