continued..

the next batch of people i want to thank...

woo~ if u happen to see her around on saturday or during cg, there's nothing wrong with your eyes. HAHA. yups, though Sirui's not under me anymore, i wanna thank God for her life. God realli showed me His faithfulness thru' a changed life. from one that made many excuses to come for cg and services to one that commits and serves with the cg. truely, it takes one bucket of blood to inspire a drop. but who cares!! She kept her promise during the last shepherding and from then, her life is no longer the same. yay! jiayou Sirui! God will use anyone who is willing to put their hands into the plough and trust in Him! (btw, that pic is taken in X29 camp! :D )

haha! spastic Melissa! =x yepps, wanna thank God for her for always encouraging me when i start to sigh and everything. hahas, she has been a very caring sister who is always aware to meet my needs. though we're in a different cg le, she still takes opportunities to catch up with me! so sweer hor? hahas. yups,Mel, though we've been thru' a lot together along the way, wanna encourage you to keep on keeping on! ^^ Damai, Damai, Damai!!! :D

erhem, we're both straight! don't xiang wai! lol. yea, this woman here i realli am very grateful to God for, haha. SERENE SOON YU MEI!!! :D yups, serving in different ministry, attend different service, in different stages of life, yet she is someone whom i know will always be there for me no matter what happens. (esp. whenever i'm locked out of my house!) hahas, i guess distance doesn't determine how strong our friendship is eh? so glad to have you in my life gal. jiayou in tertiary! wanna encourage you to continue to fix Your eyes on Jesus as You run this race with Him! you're not alone in this, i'll always be here for u. ((: loves~

tada! here's my spiritual buddy; HUIJUAN aka RAYNA!!! <3
we stay quite near each other, thus, occasionally we get to meet up for lunch or dinner. (: though serving in different ministries, i know our heart for God is still beating at the same frequency. she's someone whom i can realli be myself whenever i'm with her. we can simply just chat about anything under the sun, moon or stars! HAHA. yups, different struggles and frustrations but somehow in one way or another, we can identify with each others' feelings and spur each other to keep trusting in God. if i have to name a person who understands me, her name will come to my mind. go you, budbud! all the way for Jesus! ^^

yes you, Siewsiew! ahahah! as you can tell from the pic above...

siewling is someone whom i've served with in East E cg. though we may not be super duper close, she's someone who never fails to add colour to my life. (: given her quiet nature, she still does takes initiative in talking to people around her when she senses 'bored-ness'. she's been a great support to her leaders and is also a very encouraging sister. it took me quite a lot eversince i responded to the call of rising up as a CL. beaten by the fact of my unretained sheeps and the fact of being a grad, she never fails to remind me of our CL goal and that we're in this together. without her encouragement and trust, i believe i wouldn't have keep pushing on till today. thanks gal, SIEWSIEW you rawk! :D

HIAKHIAK! hahas, trademark of Peiqing! >.<

PQ is realli a very trusting and loving ex-shepherd. she is someone who will go the distance jus to meet the needs of people around her or even jus to make them feel loved. i still remember there was a time when she came to my house to help me with the household chores so that i could be faster in completing them and go for cg. *aww, so sweeeeet!* HAHA! Aside from being super pastoral, PQ is also one of the leaders that i dare say that i will follow even at the expense of my life as she follows God. She always trusts in every single individual of her people and sees the potential in them. she doesn't lead her people by purely emotions but more of what would Jesus do in every situation. for that, i saluate this strong woman of God. :D her corrections, sincere encouragements and wise leadership has aided me to grow in God alot when i was under her care. not only does she believes in her people's growth, she also leads them further towards exponential growth and cultivating a deeper level of intimacy with God. when it comes to this great leader, i can go on and on for pages. however, if there's something that i must say to her would be.. thank you and thank you once again.. (: PQ!, no matter what may come our way, i know you'll be one of those who'll continue running this race of life with God victoriously. JIAYOU! :D

last but not the least... BERNADETTE!!! :D

she's sure someone who honours her word very much. even if it's jus a sms, when you need her, she'll be right infront of you the next moment. she's indeed someone who serve others with so much humility and meekness. though she may appear to be rather petite and small in size, her heart for God and His people will definately blow you away! jus simply look at how she communicates to the contacts/ visitors and also her lifestyle of evangelism and you'll know what i mean. (: Bern is a cheerful dudette who will never frown infront of others. she's someone who really never says die, always giving her utmost best in whatever she does. i truely believe that the KOG and many are blessed by her.^^ go Bern! win CCHMS for Jesus! God will back you up de! love ya! :D

what we could have been, 10:36 PM.

Fly away -by FFH.

Ok you win, you caught me day dreaming again
About our sudden evacuation
Ok I give in, I can't help but wondering
But it seems I can't get enough information

Curiosity has got a hold on me
Tell me how it's gonna be - when
One day I'll see you coming back for me
And all together we'll fly away
One day I'll hear that trumpet loud and clear
And all together we'll fly away
O how I long for the day
When we'll fly away

Don't ask me why I keep starin' at the sky
It's just I'm lost in anticipation
I know it will be in the twinkling of an eye
It's just I get lost in my imagination

FLASHBACKS!!!
haha, this song really uplifted my mood by many folds.
as usual, my Christmas(s) at home are almost never pleasant.
However, God reminded me : "The reason for the season.".

Emotions that i can't hold back at the thought of the arrival of 2008 and the marking of the end of 2007. Many tears, pain, sweat, laughter, fun times, life shared, touching moments, testings and victories has walked me thru' my 2007. But most of all, if there's something that God has changed my perspective about would be.. people.

i never knew how to love someone before i came to know God.
to me, loving someone is something that i could never grasp in the past.
being practical; to show out with actions, words and gifts were my conception of what love really is- superficial, realistic and sometimes, i even thought that there's no such thing as true love on Earth.with that concept in mind, many of my actions of love were misinterpreted too.

maybe due to my insecurities, i was very afraid of being myself or rather how others would look at me. i lived my life according to the world and my friends' demands, but i realised that i was never happy.

Love at home seem to me also rather conditional.
there's always a void among each of us individuals that we don't show each other how we really feel or what we're thinking. i used to compared my family with the Christian families and i saw a huge difference. i would always say to myself ," Why isn't my family like theirs?". if there's such thing as true peace, true joy and true love,... there must be a God, there must be this Jesus everyone is talking about.

i received Christ when i was primary 5. i can still remember vividly the scene of where and how i received Jesus into my life that very day. the people were genuine, i saw the clearer picture of my life.. that's the very first time that i felt that i belong somewhere.

due to parental objections, i stopped going to that Sunday school.
however, God always has His plan, amen? haha. i was brought to yhope when i was sec 1. there and then i re-dedicated my life to God and started to know Him more. Half a year later, i committed myself to serve God and that's when my exciting journey with God begins. (:

to cut the long grandma story short, to think back, it's now my third year plus plus serving God already and God has never failed to show His unconditional love to me thru' His faithfulness and the people around me; especially the family of God. i can't deny that i'm not perfect yet but i've seen a breakthrough in my life in the area of love this year. :D i know i can be myself, uncover my weaknesses like no body's business because no one other than God is fit to condemn me! (: in this family, i know who i am and who i can be with Christ in me. Love comes from God because God is love and love is definitely not what the world dresses it to be. true love do exists! :D have you given someone a meaning to Christmas this Christmas? (: the harvest don't just end here, jiayou people!!! :D

now, drum rolls please...
these are the following people whom i especially want to thank God for this Christmas...

i wanna thank God for clone!!! Jingjing! for always sharing her life with me. being with her is simply fun and comfortable. :D her encouragements to me during my down times and being so understanding when i was doing my Os. thanks for everything clone, i really enjoy your presence in my life. ((: Love ya lots! ^^

also, wanna thank God for Yanyu!!! :D hahas. she's one of the leaders who has never failed to inspire me towards growth and leading my own group. (: Trust that she built upon me encouraged me to attempt new things for God and also to go the extra mile. really wanna affirm her of her never-say-die spirit towards serving God and loving people. go yanyu! we will follow you as you follow God! ^^

tada! my clone number 2! :D hahas. really wanna thank God for her life too. thanks for offering your time to accompany me to mug during my O lvl days. i still remember the cream you gave me when i was teething and the fun times we had studying together at your house and the library. really love sharing life with you as well. you've been a great encouragement to me by your growth in the area of being initiative and your undying zest for more of Jesus!

my mix breed shepherd (pigcow in Chinese. =x) HAHA. really thank God for your tolerance despite me being unreasonable at times. thanks for showing me the meaning of humility thru' your life. i appreciate the change you've made in order to make me feel loved. thankiew!!! :D

yo! hahas, gotta admit.. sometimes you're realli spastic cum retarded! =P
anyhow, wanna thank God for your life. your zealousness for God has influenced many others to go all out for God too! thank God for you for those few lines you said to me online, they really meant alot. :D let's jiayou together! CLCLCL! woosh! ^^

hmm, part two to be continued... :D

what we could have been, 12:54 AM.

Five loaves and two fishes. -by corrinne may

A little boy of thirteen was on his way to school He heard a crowd of people laughing and he went to take a look Thousands were listening to the stories of one man He spoke with such wisdom, even the kids could understand The hours passed so quickly, the day turned into night

Everyone was hungry but there was no food in sight The boy looked in his lunchbox, at the little that he had He wasn't sure what good it'd do, there were thousands to be fed But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus, the kindness in His smile

And the boy cried out with the trust of a child, he said: "Take my five loaves and two fishes Do with it as You will Isurrender Take my fears, my inhibitions All my burdens, my ambitions You can use it all To feed them all."

I often think about that boy when I'm feeling small And I worry that the work I do means nothing at all But every single tear I cry is a diamond in His hands And every door that slams in my face, I will offer up in prayer So I'll give You every breath that I have Oh Lord, You can work miracles All You need is my "Amen"

So, take my five loaves and two fishes Do with it as You will I surrender Take my fears, my inhibitions All my burdens, my ambitions You can use it all I hope it's not too small

I trust in You, I trust in You

So, take my five loaves and two fishes Do with it as You will I surrender Take my fears, my inhibitions All my burdens, my ambitions You can use it all No gift is too small.

indeed, this song has greatly impacted me. As 2007 marches close to the end, what would be my conclusion for this whole year spent on Earth with God? frankly, many things i realli do feel very limited to.. time. No, i don't want to be emotional. i can jus go on rattling about my limitations and weaknesses, how much i think i'm so far from my goal for God. However, i pray that God will help me to look to Him for He is a God of possibilities. with all that i have now, my five loaves and two fishes, Lord pls make it a miracle.. use me as a vessel of Your love.

-in His magnificant name, Amen.

what we could have been, 11:23 PM.

for i stand in awe of Your great love..

God, i pray that You'll enlarge Your servant's territory!
nothing describes my heart's cry better than this song..

Hillsong United - Devotion

Verse 1
I've been running, trying to be one who sees
I've been working, salvation out on my knees
There is nothing better than knowing
That we are redeemed
Unbelieving trusting in creative hands,
I am praying for our world to bow to your plan
And this one thought is unmistakable
I take up my cross and follow you Lord

Chorus
When you stand the tall trees and mountains bow
When you speak the fiercest of oceans is still
And I see the sinner seek devotion
The lost become chosen, and I fall to my knees

Verse 2
Unforgiven, my savior who did not deserve death
He was blameless and I was lost in shamefulness
Undelivered, but it doesn't seem right
Unless I keep my eyes focused on the savior who gave his live
In the middle of a world that denies it believes
It is breaking apart at the very seams
There is one thing to be alive for
And it's to take up my cross and follow you Lord

Bridge
I will take up my cross and follow Lord where you lead me
And I will take up my cross and follow wherever you go

-discouraged no more, all the way for Jesus Christ! (:

what we could have been, 11:49 PM.

yes, testings have started.

was challenged to go beyond my comfort zone.
sometimes, to be genuine, we have to go the extra mile for others.
different people receive love differently and i cannot just do what i expect they would understand.

met up with two p5 contacts with Bernadette last Friday. Initially, we only planned to eat lunch together. Then afterwhich, they brought us along to a playground which they said they wanted to check out because they heard that it was haunted. When we reached the indoor playground, they asked the 'golden' question... "What game shall we play?". Upon hearing that, my legs turned jelly. hahas. well, if you know me... I DON'T LIKE TO RUN AROUND OR PERSPPIRE! especially when i intended to evax after sow-ing. =x So, i jus bit my tongue and agreed. maybe God's hinting me to exercise more. lol. the girls were so energetic, and man, can they run! i guess it's easy to guess that i was the one to chase them around as i got caught almost every time. -.- hurhur. And after running, jumping, climbing up and down for almost 2 hours, i was as good as gone. lol.

i told them that we had to leave as we had something else on at that time. (evaxing). However, they insisted in following us along and we can't possibly reject them like that right? Hmm, so we went ahead to the interchange to get drinks and walk around. Then, one of the girls requested to take neoprints together. i was rather reluctant as i was rather broke as the money i had was meant for emergency purposes and i didn't see the need of taking neoprints when we can snap some photos conveniently with our handphones! Thank God for Bern who suggested that she'll treat us, i was drawn out of the awkward situation. Though i paid her back, i admire her spirit of willingness to go all the way to win their hearts for Christ! :D

indeed, pruning is tough. but Lord, help me to cling on to Your promises as i trust that the vision will soon come to past! amen! ((:

-i am but nothing compared to my Maker.

what we could have been, 1:05 AM.

beyond surface friendships,
i believe i've met my camp objectives. (:

other than running to and fro for medics and mama shop duty, this camp i got to spend more time with the cg and other individuals too. not to mention, got to know people from other districts as well. yay! this time, many new peeps joined us for camp for the very first time too! people from EA1 like linhui, sirui, angelin (considered bah cuz last camp she went home on the first day as she was sick.) and shih ching. whee~ *claps* yea, and here goes our cg's new lingo : "Cute what."..."Natural." LOL. =P -proudly brought to you by the highly influential Yeo Sirui! ROFL. :D

as i could still vividly remember, the third day of the camp was the most emotional one. the cg's covenant to one another, so genuine and sincere.. words that are brought forth from the deepest of each of our hearts. truly moved. not forgetting the song that we sang during Resonance : I love this family of God. when the yhope alumni came to hug me, also did my spiritual buddy! i guess some things just can't be expressed merely by words. though not serving in the same ministry, we know that we're kept close to each other's heart. ((:

have went a long long way to only discover something that i should have confessed to God long ago. but i still believe it's never too late for a repentant heart to experience a breakthru'. :D it's really difficult to explain why i made the decision to respond to the call of rising up the third time and this time it had to be in camp. a myriad of emotions was welling up in me when i made the decision. doubts, uncertainty, discouragements, fear.. you name it, i felt it. i stepped forward because i knew i've not completed what i have been called out to do yet. though with just about two months left and all, i just want to give my very best in all that i do for Christ. if it's God's plan for me to move to another land, at least i know i've done my part by placing that full-stop in a life-transforming story in my lifetime.

i've been thinking,
what does it mean to be a Care Leader?
is it just the skills? people-oriented qualities? stature? character? being sacrificial?
Personally, i came to a conclusion.. it's a little of everything but most importantly loving God and loving people. isn't God's ministry all about people? isn't those lost souls what God's heart break for? skills and character can be built but if you don't love God and His people, you cannot lead them to love God and His people either.

God knows me inside out.
i was discouraged of the fact that my sheeps aren't retained at all.
but God encouraged me with His word, [1Peter5:2]. clear direction from God for the leftover time i have left. not to mention, sirui starting to serve, commit and even came for camp was all because of God's faithfulness. my Goliath is huge so that God can reveal more of His power in my life!

if God is not the Lord of all, then He's not the Lord at all.
no sitting on the fence, i choose to cling on and fight on.
X29 will leave a legacy of this generation. jiayou ppl! ^^

Hosanna -by Hillsong united.

I see the king of glory
Coming on the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes
The whole earth shakes

Yeeeah

I see his love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing
The people sing

[Chorus]
Hosanna
Hosanna
Hosanna in the highest x2

I see a generation
Rising up to take their place
With selfless faith
With selfless faith
I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees
We're on our knees

[Chorus]

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I walk from earth into Eternity

[Chorus] x2

Hosanna in the highest

-my chapter to write.

what we could have been, 1:29 AM.

hoho, backkkkkkkkkk!

had a rather bad e xperience with blogger when all that i've type for a few hours just went *poof*, gone. -.- oh man, guess it's time to apply what i've learnt during Word For Life. - Patience. haha.

anyhow,
really excited to set aside this time to especially map out what i want to achieve or accomplish during this post Os period. no more slacking!woohoo~

1. complete one Christian literature by end Dec.
2. loose 2 kg by Jan.
3. compose a worship song.
4. clear debts by Feb!
5. shss-5!, sfs-7! -end Jan.
6. 2 more sheeps by end Dec.
7. kbox!
8. learn a dance.
9. missions trip. (hopefully, can go for next yr's!)

all i want for Christmas is...
1. a Chritstian literature.
2. a puppy! (dream on luh! -.-) HAHA.
3. Huilin to come and know God. ^^
4. to lead my very own group! woo~
5. eye patch (to remove eye rings/ eyebags!) hees.
6. proper vocal training lessons.
7. breakthroughs in various areas (shall share again next time (: )
8. good L1R5.
9. 5566's Dec album.
10. anything got to do with Spongebob!!!

but ultimately, i really want to see myself growing exponentially, having breakthrough in the areas which i've yet to overcome. :D

what we could have been, 12:55 AM.