Sunday, March 23, 2008
a few days back, i was so troubled and discouraged by the fact of the soon approaching Easter Service. feeling low not because i hate Easter but because i don't know who to invite for this Easter Service.
being in the tertiary group now, the age group of people that we want to bring to know Christ is slightly more mature. frankly, i didn't really have much friends my age in my Alma mater and the thing is; since we've just transferred not long ago, we haven't started gathering new contacts. i really felt very lost.
hmm, maybe at this point of time you may start to think :" wow, mag is so spiritual!". but i really beg to differ. i've celebrated three times of Easter in Hope and this year's my fourth, and all i was thinking at that moment was, "how can i help to bring friends so that we can hit our goal of 18?", "if everyone has a visitor then i didn't do my best to bring a friend how?". that's for the troubled part.
why discouraged?
true enough that wealth is not everything, on the other hand, there's so much things that i want to do but i can't without money. things like being debt-free as soon as possible, ending the terror of possible toothaches and of course.. short-term missions trip! rahh~
indeed it takes one bucket of blood to inspire a drop.
no matter how much i do, sheep just can't seem to respond.
tried encouraging, correcting gently, reminding and whatever-you-can-think-of to help her walk closer to God, yet to no avail. was so so so discouraged that i just kept ranting and ranting at God.
i asked God:"Why do You refuse to bless me? And why did You rather bless those we don't need money with a job than to bless me who desperately is in need of one?"
then, a sms from Shuhfen came, explaining of some miscom that my name was only sent to that company on that particular day. =x
i asked God again:"Will i really have no visitors this Easter?"
God kept silent for a moment and asked:"What does Easter mean to you?"
i understood what God was trying to tell me.
i know how does Easter come about and know it's significance,however, i've forgotten the true power of the Cross that holds the reason why we celebrate Easter. it's definitely not about numbers nor hitting our goal BUT the love of Christ that we must proclaim!
i took out my handphone and starting calling and smsing away.
out of the 50 plus contacts i've smsed, only 10 replied and Waiman said she would come!!! She came for 1st service and rededicated her life to God! woohoo~ Then, God prompted me to go on Msn to hunt for everyone and anyone whom i can invite for service. After a looooooooooong wait, my secondary school senior who promised to come for service 1 year ago, promised that he'll turn up for service the next day! yay! though he didn't receive Christ that day, through his feedback i knew that God has planted a seed in him somehow or rather. ((:
not only has God blessed me with these two visitors, He made me realised that it is not possible to serve in His ministry without love..
-i want to know You more each day!
what we could have been, 12:44 AM.
